THIS IS A TEST. I REPEAT. THIS IS A TEST. In the event of a real endorsement or award, you will be instructed to tune into the Today Show and then directed to your nearest bookstore.*
NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! DYNAMITE DEBUT NOVEL takes the literary world by storm. Perhaps we are witnessing a parallel universe from a fugue state, or the natural endgame of our smart phone addictions, or a virally contagious redundant rash.
No matter. The phenomenon is real, and having read the book myself, I can attest to the veracity of the claims and the truth of the accolades. But enough about my point of view. Here is what others are saying:
Nike Inc. – “You did it! You did it!”
New York Times Book Review – “Perhaps the finest first effort we’ve seen in decades. We’re in for years of delight. Mr. Goodale, keep writing, please.”
Maine Lobsterman’s Association – “Goodale does for lobster what Melville did for whales. Finest kind. Scarf her up.”
Elmore Leonard – “Wonderful sparse writing, if I do say so myself. Years of reading pleasure ahead. Kindle edition came through fine. For some reason print version is not available here.”
Goodreads – “Characters spring off the page. You want to cry when the book ends. More. More!”
Kirkus Reviews – “This is an engaging and entertaining look into New England life and coastal living. Written with Maine “speak” and humor, it is a story about prejudice and set ways of life. There is a love story. There is a memorable dog. And then there is Donny Coombs, a fifth generation lobsterman. Jump right in.”
Lee Child – “If Reacher could fish! Do yourself a favor and buy this book.”
Esquire – “Goodale has achieved something really difficult in fiction – to cast characters that are real and sympathetic, to paint honest love scenes that are light and cozy and funny, and then he throws in a dog you hate to love. This world comes alive on these pages.”
Patrick Ruell – “Goodale takes the amorous approach. He aims at the heart.”
AOL Recommends – “A lovely story and a promising debut. Love story, dog story, class conflict and an in-depth (pun intended) portrayal of lobstering off the coast of Maine. Clear, crisp writing, perfectly toned dialogue and a plot that kept me up at night. I highly recommend this novel.”
Dashiell Hammett – “We have a fresh new voice! Crystal, reminiscent of Elmore Leonard (Hi, Elm) with the dashes of humor and romance that reminds me of Hiassen. That said, Goodale is forging his own space and I’m looking forward to more of his fiction. Congratulations on a job well done. (Hey Elm, what’s the deal with the “no print version” available?).”
Reginald Hill – “Hey Elm and Dash. We still on for coffee?”
USA Today – “Diabolical neighbors, rotten fisheman, gritty dog, enraging protagonist with a sweet girl on his arm. What lies beneath those blue bays? All you have to do is turn the first page. Then you are hooked.”
Publisher’s Weekly – “We do not review debut self-published authors. What makes you think you warrant a review? REJECTED REJECTED REJECTED. What were you thinking?”
Portland Press Herald – “You will love the characters and the snappy dialogue. Cared so much that I’m still thinking of Donny and Shelly and Bert long after I finished the book. And I miss Tut.”
Kindle Book Review – “The Kindle version came out super. I hear the Smashwords edition is coming out tomorrow and that it sucks. Our friends at CreateSpace are working on a heavenly print version. Hold your breath”.
Smashwords – “Whatever! Petty, petty, petty. Cry me a river, why don’t you?”
There are more accolades, but let’s move on to the awards:
National Book Award – finalist.
Edgar – First Prize, 2014, fiction.
B.R.A.G. Medallion – honoree.
Pulitzer – runner-up (the flag pole).
AIA Seal of Approval.
Olympic Gold Medal, Winter Games, literature/fiction category.
New England Book Festival – Grand Champion.
Upcoming Event: Fiction Fisticuffs: Vacationland vs. Inferno (Brown’s not Dante’s). Goodale says, “No contest.”
* Most of the above endorsements by authors living or dead, or awards, are the product of pure fiction and are probing into the value of visualization. It is true, however, that Steven King came to me in a dream last night and instructed me to do the above.
BTW – Know anybody who knows anybody who knows anybody influential in the literary world to whom you could recommend the book? Come on, wrack your brain (which is obviously super fine given you’ve read this far). As always, I hope you found this entertaining and I thank you for following this effort.